That’s right kiddos and SGEP Dicks, SGEP is hitting the road today to spend four fun-filled days in our nation’s first capital, Philadelphia PA.
And thanks to modern technology, I’ll continue to post every day via my laptop. So have no fear of going into SGEP withdrawal, it just won’t happen.
Now, onto today’s topic; email addresses. We all want ‘em, we all got ‘em, and some of us have many. Too many.
It starts innocently enough. You’re new to the Internets, you need an email address that’s cool and fits you. Unfortunately, most people aren’t new to the web and your superspecialperfect email address, studpickle69 is taken. Drat. Now what? You think of another potential email address, not so superspecialperfect but it’s close; bleedwhitesoxblack. But alas, it’s taken too.
If you’re on AOL, or trying to get a hotmail or yahoo address, this can go on for hours/days.
You weed through everything you can come up with that would slightly be “you”; cool_gamer, exfirefighter, super_crunchy_liberal, OU812_4_U, fairy_princess, cribbage_king, smoking_non_smoker. But they’re all taken. So you resort to initials and numbers, starting with your birthday/year; dtk_1975, dtk_2275, 19dtk75, 1d9t7k5— AHA That last one is available. Finally, you have a place in the virtual world, you’re 1d9t7k5. But then you think about it—you’re at a bar, hitting it off with they partner of your dreams. The night ends and she asks if she can contact you. You, of course, want to show what a supercool hip cat you are and you give her your email address. And then you have to give it to her again. Slowly. One digit/letter at a time. And by the time you get to the “@” sign, she’s shaking her head and saying that maybe you two will just meet up here again sometime—and you never see her again. (gender set to personal preference, set yours to yours)
No, that address just won’t do. But you’re tired and need an address so you settle on it.
A few days later you decide to try your luck at one of the other online email address sites, and BAM! Super_crunchy_liberal is available and you snatch it up like a starving dog devours meat. But you have a similar problem as before, this email address is looooong. And you have those underscores to contend with. But you take it anyway, you’re sure you’ll find some use for it.
As the months go by, you spread your usage fairly equally among your two addresses. You notice the small trickle of spam turn into a waterfall of offers; penis enlargement, mail order brides, free lube jobs. (How do they know?!)
You’re getting tired of sifting through the pages of these offers to get the email from your mom and from a girl you’re only mildly interested in but she gave you her email address eagerly, so you decide to create a new email account, and use it just for your personal stuff, leaving your other two for use with sites that make you enter email addresses to register products.
This works fine, you’re new email address still gets spam, but not the boat-loads that your others get.
Then you get your own domain name. And you HAVE to have an email address with this domain, and the best part is you can have whatever you want. So FINALLY you can be studpickle69@*yourdomain*. This of course becomes your new “main” address, so you send out a mass email letting everyone in your addressbook know of your new addy, and they have to change yours again.
But you have to create a new one, because you really don’t want to send email to you mom from studpickle69.
And you pick up a few more domain names, because they’re like tattoos, piercings, and Doritos, you just can’t stop at one. And you get an email address for each.
Then your long lost best friend contacts you via myspace and tells you that he’d love to chat with you, but he only has yahoo. So you create a yahoo account (settling for gibberish as a username) so that you can catch up and rehash memories of the good old days.
And one day you wake up and realize that you have more email addresses then you have friends.
But what can you do? You have no idea which of your friends have which email address, so you continue to check each everyday and soon you find yourself doing nothing more then surfing email instead of what you’d like to be doing, reading blogs and surfing for porn.
Until finally you have enough and just do a mass delete of all your accounts and start new. And the cycle begins again.
So, how many email addresses do YOU have? I have 8. And no, none of them are studpickle69. Or I might be lying? 
Edit: I forgot about my work email, so bring my email address total up to 9.
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5 responses so far ↓
1 Emily // Nov 3, 2007 at 10:42 am
Let’s see… I have yahoo, work, insight. only 3. I’m slacking!
2 Konrad // Nov 3, 2007 at 2:57 pm
I have 7. But only 3 of them I use regularly. I would dispose of the other ones but I worry I’ll miss out on some important email that might come any day now.
3 Konrad // Nov 3, 2007 at 3:02 pm
Just as a side note, I use a program called PopTray (and I’m sure there are various other similar programs out there) which checks all my accounts for me so I don’t have to do it “manually”. I recommend such software for anyone managing multiple emails.
4 Erica // Nov 3, 2007 at 5:39 pm
I’ve got two. A measly two e-mail addresses. Ah well, I suppose I have lots of time to catch up.
5 Lauren // Nov 4, 2007 at 1:22 pm
hmmm
do admin@ addresses count?
I’ve got 9 are in use on a daily basis (although most of those are forwarded to one main account)–another 2 or 3 that I check once a month or so, and another handful of admin@ or webmaster@ addresses (that are forwarded, but don’t often get real mail)
And at this point, I 100% gmail free!
Basically, I have 5 mailboxes.
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